Joke

Bejo : mak..... emak sakit ya???
Emak : iya jo...
Bejo : hmm...kita ke dokter yuk...
Emak : mau bayar pake apa'an....kan duit kita udah tipis jo..
Uhukk...uhukk
Bejo : kita jual si tole(kambing) aja mak..
Emak : tapi kan tuh kambing kesayangan elu....
Bejo : kan bejo lbh sayang emak...
Emak : terserah elu aja dah...
Bejo : ya udah..bejo jual ke pasar ya mak...
Emak : iye...inget ya jo...tuh kmbing bandot..lu jual jutaan...
Jangan mau kalo ditawar murah..sayang....
Bejo : iya mak..bejo juga tau...kn bejo dah capek2 ngerawat...
Kalo gitu bejo pamit ya mak...
#berangkat jual kambing

Tak lama kemudian

bejo : mak...kambing kita laku..jutaan...
Emak : alhamdulillah....
Bejo : pertamanya dia cuma nawar 500rb mak..
Ihh enak aja...kambingnya ditawar murah bnget...kagak bejo kasih...
Emak : bagus tuh jo..emang pembeli jman sekarang maunya murah mulu'...terus... Lu jawab apa wktu dia nawar gitu...
Bejo : bejo bilang...pesan emak kambingnya mesti dihargai jutaan pak...
Gitu mak...
Alhamdulillah....setelah mikir lama...
Akhirnya dia mau juga....harga jutaan..
Bejo : Memang berapa jo dia beli tuh kambing???berapa juta???
Bejo : setengah juta mak...
Hebat kan...sesuai pesan emak..jutaan...gimana???puas mak???
Emak : #*@?&@#*-+???
# semaput dadakan

=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~

Alkisah ada 3 pemuda sedang mempamerkan hp mreka

Junot :Gw kemaren bingung milih hp di mall ya udah gw beli I-Phone 5 ajah..
Xaor : Gw kemaren disuruh milih hp ama orang tua,ya udah gw milih BB aja deh*belum puas*
Agil : Gw kemaren mau beli hp tapi bingung banget loh,
Junot& xaor : knpa bngung?
Agil : soalnya semua hp itu ga pake kartu perdana semua..
Junot&xaor : *penasaran* kok gk pke kartu sih?
Agil : iya soalnya layarnya kecil sama cuma muncul angka digit dan +-x : doank!
Junot&xaor : ITU KALKULATOR BEO!!! *lempar ke kuburan*

=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~

Istri : "Pih, Mamih barusan lihat harga pakaian murah2 banget !!!
bener2 sangat murah pih !!Coba deh pih... Jas/Blazer cuman Rp.9.000,
Kebaya Rp. 8.000, Kimono Rp. 7.000, Daster Rp.5000, Kemeja Rp.7500,
Dan Safari Setelan Lkp hanya Rp.14.000, coba bayangin dech pih, murah
kan,.?? Dan masih banyak yang lainnya juga pih !!murah banget !!!"

Suami : "Dimana itu, Mih,.???"

Istri : "Toko baru di depan gang
kita tuh Pih..!"

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Suatu pagi lewatlah seorang penjual daging."Dageeeng! Dageeeeennngg! !!" teriaknya. Seorang ibu rumah tangga yang
sedang sakit gigi sewot banget mendengarteriak an si tukang daging. Ibu : "Hei tukang daging!
Lu kagak punya otak ya....!!!???
"Tukang daging : "Wah
kebetulan gak punya, Bu. Hari ini daging semua..."

=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~

GARA GARA SINYAL

Cowok:
aduh Bebz, nanti aja
telponnya, disini sinyal aku PUTUS
PUTUS ,,, !

Cewek : APPAAA!!! ?
tega kamu
ya,,, aku nelpon kamu dari paris ke indonesia kamu malah minta
putus !!! ! SALAH AKU APA COBA !!

Cowok: tuh kan, kamu salah
dengar,,, DISINI SINYALNYA JELEK!!!

Cewek: hikz-hikz-hikz... tega
kamu, kamu putusin aku karena, kamu bilang salah aku
karena aku jelek ???

Cowok:
Disini Aku nggak dapat
sinyal ! soalnya Operator aku
Ax*s lagi gangguan, aku sayang
kamu bebz !

Cewek: apaa!! kamu bilang? kamu
dpat gebetan baru, yang
namanya ANIS ? dan kamu lebih
sayang dia? tega kamu ! tega!

Cowok: ya alloh, Mati gue, Bukan
sayang, Aku minta kamu telpon aku sebentar lagi, Aku naik ke
menara dulu, ya,?

Cewek: apa?
oke, aku akan naik
menara eifel, dan aku akan
lompat, dan kamu nggak akan
ngeliat aku untuk selamanya ! dasar BUAYA! HABIS MANIS SEMPAK
DIBUANG !!!

Cowok: *#¥§%$€£
(NGUNYAH hp)

=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~

Presiden bertanya pada ibu tua penjual kue,

Bpk : "Sudah berapa lama jualan kue?"
Ibu : "Sudah hampir 30 tahun.
Bpk : "Terus anak ibu mana, kenapa tidak ada yang bantu?" ...
Ibu : "Anak saya ada 4, yang
ke-1 di KPK,
ke-2 di POLDA,
ke-3 di Kejaksaan dan yang
ke-4 di DPR, jadi mereka sibuk
sekali pak..."

Presiden kemudian
menggeleng-gele -ngkan kepala karena kagum...

Lalu dengan percaya diri Bapak Presiden
berbicara kesemua hadirin yang menyertai beliau, "Meskipun hanya jualan kue, ibu ini bisa menjadikan anaknya sukses dan jujur tidak korupsi...karen -a kalau mereka korupsi,
pasti kehidupan Ibu ini sudah sejahtera dan tinggal dirumah
mewah..."

Lalu sambil mengarahkan mike
yang sedang di pegangnya ,Bapak Presiden kembali
berbicara kepada wanita penjual kue tersebut ...
Bpk : "Apa jabatan anak di POLDA, KPK,KEJAKSAAN dan DPR?"

Lalu dengan polosnya sang wanita penjual
kue tersebut itu berkata :"Sama... mereka berjualan kue juga disana ..."

Bpk : @#$%$^@%
#Kejang-kejang

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Razer Game Booster

 

What does Razer Game Booster do?

In partnership with Razer, we proudly present you Razer Game Booster, a simple yet powerful solution to get the absolute best performance of your system and games. With just one click, it automatically enhances the state of your system and focuses all its resources purely for gaming. Razer Game Booster can get rid of interruptions by keeping only the gaming window on the desktop, and give you the ability to record real-time video / audio so that you can share your favorite gaming moments with friends around the world.

 

 

DOWNLOAD HERE

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Advanced SystemCare Ultimate 6

What does Advanced SystemCare Ultimate 6 do?

Based on #1 ranked BitDefender antivirus technology and IObit anti-malware engine, Advanced SystemCare Ultimate 6 incorporates top anti-virus capabilities, as well as the already proven comprehensive PC tune-up ability. It provides protection against all kinds of security threats, system slowdown, freeze and crash without slowing down your system.

Advanced SystemCare Ultimate 6 is compatible with other security software, and it includes all features of ASC PRO. Users who uninstall Advanced SystemCare PRO during Advanced SystemCare Ultimate 6 trial can easily revert to ASC PRO at any time.

 

Ultimate Protection and Ultimate Performance

• Protects you against viruses, spyware, hackers, phishing, botnets and more
• Protects your identity when you shop and bank online
• Boosts, cleans, and fixes all kinds of PC problems with just 1 click
• Light and fast, compatible with other security products

 DOWNLOAD HERE

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IRON MAN [RIP]

Iron Man is a 2008 video game based on the film of the same name as well as the classic iterations of the character It was released on May 2, 2008 to coincide with the release of the film in cinemas. The game is published by Sega, and was released on PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 (developed by Secret Level), PlayStation 2, PlayStation Portable, Nintendo DS, Wii, PC (developed by Artificial Mind and Movement) and Mobile Platforms.

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Fantastic 4 Video game RIP

 

The game begins with Reed, Sue, and Johnny on a roof lying helpless after being knocked unconscious by a blast from Doctor Doom. Sue is the first to recover, so when she sits up and turns around, Dr. Doom is preparing to fire an electric blast at them. Sue holds it off with her force field and calls Ben Grimm for help. Then it cuts away to Ben, who is recovering in the transformation chamber after having his rocklike exterior genetically removed from him. As he contemplates why the circumstances have led to this, he remembers the period when all of this happens.

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Grid 2 [repack]

The game includes numerous real world locations such as Paris, numerous United States locations, and many more, and also includes motor vehicles spanning four decades. In addition, it includes a new handling system that developer Codemasters has dubbed 'TrueFeel', which aims to hit a sweet spot between realism and accessibility. Races do not include a first person cockpit view. The popular gamemode "Drift" was recently shown in a gameplay preview by Codemasters. For the first few seasons, there is no money, but the player will focus on fans and the WSR before money.

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Wall-E [RIP]

The PlayStation 3, Wii, and Xbox 360 versions feature nine explorable worlds. The Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 2, and PlayStation Portableversions feature eighteen worlds, and the Nintendo DS features fourteen explorable worlds. The Wii is the only version of the game that features 3 head-to-head multiplayer modes, while the Nintendo DS version feature co-op modes playable as WALL-E or EVE. As the player plays through the levels of the Nintendo DS version, they unlock clips from the movie viewable at any time. The PlayStation 2, PSP and Windows versions allow the player to use music to summon reject bots throughout the game. The story mode seems to be altered the character's roles and different from the movie such as WALL-E can commonly use its laser, EVE is tasered by AUTO (referenced to WALL-E being tasered in the original.), WALL-E repairing EVE (in the original, EVE tries to repair WALL-E), and WALL-E survived from getting crushed by the Holo-Detector.

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68 wise words in the english langauge (68 Kata Bijak Dalam Bahasa Inggris)

"You do not live at once. You only die once and live every day."

Anda tidak hidup sekali. Anda hanya mati sekali dan hidup setiap hari.

"We will never know the real answer, before you try."

Kita tidak akan pernah mengetahui jawaban yang sebenarnya, sebelum kita mencoba.

"Tranquility can be found when we are with God."

Ketenangan bisa kita temukan apabila kita bersama Tuhan.

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